Friday 28 May 2010

Neighbourhood watch

The 2010 South Holderness Cup
A very traditional way to end the season

Hedon Rangers with "our cup"...for a third year running!

Last night saw Hedon Rangers complete a hat-trick of South Holderness Cup wins courtesy of an 8-1 trouncing of gallant Paull Wanderers at Low Farm.  To some people the result is further evidence of the decline of this traditional end-of-season competition.  Far from it I say...
The South Holderness Cup is one of the few such competitions still on the go.  Along with its north Holderness equivalent (the Tanton Cup) it provides Saturday clubs in our corner of the East Riding with a chance to claim bragging rights for a year.
Hedon Rangers are the current form team.  Their emphatic win in this year's final ensured they became only the third side to complete such a feat since the competition's inception in 1956 (I'm proud to say that one of the other two is Easington United).
The South Holderness Association Football Challenge Cup was born out of the ashes of the post-War South Holderness League, which had operated between 1946 and 1954 and at one time operated two divisions.
The actual trophy used for the first final in 1956 - won by Hedon United in controversial fashion against Patrington United - was the former South Holderness League Cup,.  This had first been competed for in 1950 and was won by this year's finalists ,Paull Wanderers  a year later, their last appearance in the final!


Like all such competitions the South Holderness Cup has had its fair share of ups and downs.  It nearly fell by the wayside in the early Eighties before a new committee, headed up by local referee Tom Southcoat and long-time Thorngumbald AFC secretary Arthur Brummitt, took up the reins from the "old guard".  In the past couple of years these "elderly statesmen" of local football have also passed on the baton to a younger quartet, which includes...er...me.
In recent years the lack of participating clubs has been something of an issue.  Several reasons have been put forward for this, mainly involving fixture backlogs due to outstanding league/County cup commitments and/or bad weather, as experienced this winter.
Another perhaps more worrying reason put forward for some of the smaller clubs declining the invitation to enter is the widening gap between these teams and the competition favourites.  And while Paull's appearance in the Final (having dumped HPL Division 1 side Withernsea out in the semi-final) gives all "minnows" hope the emphatic result therein also served to reinforce this perception.
Not surprisingly Withernsea have the most number of wins in the South Holderness Cup.  However, the last of their fourteen victories came back in 1993.  Six times snce they've appeared in the final, only to lose out.  
Four of these defeats have come against us and our record in recent times is quite outstanding.  Having only reached the final for the first time in 1991 (losing out to Withernsea) we returned again in 1993 (again losing to the same opponents) and 1995 (beaten on pens at Hedon United).  But in 1997 we finally lifted the trophy for the first time on a night that typified what the South Holderness Cup used to be about - tight, competitive finals (we won on pens after a 1-1 draw in extra-time) played in front of a large crowd on a balmy spring evening.
1997: Walking in a Wilson Wonderland

Since that memorable May evening at Hull Road, the Eastenders have returned to the final seven times (eight if you include the bonus appearance of the Reserves last year).  All seven occasions - 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2006 and 2007 - resulted in victory.  Given  that HPL commitments prevented entry in 2001 (we were instead represented by the Reserves in a tournament won by Keyingham thanks to victory over fellow Amateur League side Withernsea) our tally of wins stood at eight in ten attempts and an unofficial five in a row, matching the feat of Withernsea between 1963 and 1967.  Along with our impressive rise from County League whipping boys to Humber Premier League high-flyers  it helped make Easington United THE team everyone in Holderness wanted to beat.

 First timers - Holderness Cup Winners Cup 2007

In 2007 Mack's men also became inaugural winners of the Holderness Cup Winners Cup, an annual play-off between the South Holderness and Tanton Cup winners.  The motto "Pride of Holderness" never rang truer.
But recent times have seen us fail to add to these victories.  Indeed, the fact that each attempt has been halted by Hedon Rangers has led some to suggesting that the balance of power has shifted.  It's not a view you'll find me or anyone else at Low Farm subscribing to.  We simply point to our tally of wins that Rangers still have to match, plus a HPL record that leaves that of the Eastside club in the shade.  But I will admit we desperately need to regain that famous old trophy if only to regain a sense of order!
This year's draw meant a potential if not probable semi-final meeting of the "big two" should both progress past Hedon Rangers Juniors and Patrington.  

Thommo filled his boots at Eastside

We travelled to Eastside (the current name for the former BP site at Saltend) to face Hedon's third-string on the back of two defeats that had ended the league campaign on a low note.  But this game provided the perfect opportunity to bounce back and hat-tricks from Thommo, Fitz and Hutch plus a Mozzer brace helped us to an 11-0 rout.
Hedon's passage through was even more straightforward - a "walkover" thanks to Patrington's failure to raise a team.
And so a week after our first round win we returned to Eastside  to play for a place in the final.

 "Ooh I say!"
Unfortunately, on a playing surface best described as unkempt, we didn't play.  None of those who kicked a ball for Easington that night can claim to have performed to the ir best. As such Hedon, who passed the ball around impressively, deserved their win.  Even so, it took a last minute strike from Craig Palmer to earn the hosts their final berth - and this just a few minutes after goalkeeper Dez Peat had somehow got across his goal to keep out Fitzy's downward header.
The other side of the draw saw our Reserves edge past their Hedon counterparts before losing out to Withernsea in a game they'll feel they should have got something out of.

 Foz does him with the eyes

It took the Stiffs to fall two behind and down to ten men (keeper Pagey seeing red for saying some rather uncomplimentary things to referee Ron McNaughton) before they gave it a real go.  Foz reduced arrears from the spot after Stumo had been fouled, then only an acrobatic save by keeper Phil Richardson denied the latter an equaliser moments later.
Withernsea's Reserves were beaten 0-3 at home by Paull setting up a semi-final at Hull Road that few could see throwing up anything but a convincing home win.
Certainly those Seasiders players who had taken great delight in our defeat two nights earlier were confident of a Withernsea v Hedon showpiece at Easington in the final.  Oh dear.
Despite creating a hatful of chances, including a 50th minute penalty, Withernsea failed to breach the Paull goal in 120 minutes football.  And so to penalties where the Wanderers came up trumps.  Withernsea's wait for win number fifteen goes on.

Just eight minutes in, it's not looking good for Paull...

As feared, a meeting of a side from the top half of the HPL Premier Division and one from the lower reaches of the Amateur League's second level proved an ill-match.  And when Spinks opened the scoring on 8mins the writing was on the wall.  Just over eighty minutes later a new record winning margin for the final had been established - eclipsing Patrington's 7-1 thumping of Hedon (& Marfleet) United back in 1969.
Despite the one-sided nature of the Final for a third successive year (you have to go back to 2007 when Steve Harrod's sublime extra-time winner gave us victory over Hedon Rangers) I still believe that the South Holderness Cup provides a valuable service on the local footballing calendar.
for a start, take Paull Wanderers.  Circumstances dictate that the South Holderness Cup Final may well turn out to be the last game they play under their current moniker.  Now comprised almost solely of Hull-based players, the club looks set to relocate away from their infamous Foreshore home to a place in the "big smoke".  
It was therefore fitting that the last game as Paull Wanderers should come in the competition that had prompted the club's switch from Sunday football back in 1967.

Look after it Spinksy, it's only on loan

And for those who point to the result as evidence of a now insurmountable gap in standards, cast your mind back to 1994.  then, in front of one of the biggest Final crowds many can remember (300+), little old Holmpton United overcame the then mighty Withernsea 3-2 to lift the trophy for the only time in their history.  It can be done.  Hopefully though not next year when, if I don't sound too arrogant, "normal service" will be resumed!




Thanks to Colin Brammer, Burt Graham & Dooley Cousins for some of the photographs used here

Wednesday 26 May 2010

Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside

Saturday 22nd May
ER County League President's (H. E. Dean) Cup Final
Easington United Reserves 4 Viking Raiders 0

 A happy bunch of Stiffs!

The hottest day of the year and the hottest ticket in town for the Reserves.  After a season of four managers, many players and even more disappointments, the Stiffs had found themselves in a cup final.  And not just any old cup final but the East Riding County Football League's most prestigious cup final - the H. E. Dean Cup Final.
Named in recognition of the League President (it's official title is the ER County League President's Challenge Trophy presented by H. E. Dean Esq. (1937-1975)) it is the only piece of silverware that every member club can challenge for.
It was first lifted in 1977 by the all-conquering Sir Leo Schultz YC side.  Meanwhile, Easington United's record throughout the competition's 33-year history is pretty dire...or rather, it had been.
For the past few years the H. E. Dean Cup has been regionalised and run on a midweek basis towards the season's end.  The idea originally being to retain Saturday afternoons for league games, thus reducing the number of matches that would have to be rescheduled due to poor weather.  And given the awful winter experienced this season, it has again proved an inspired decision.
And so on the hottest day of the year, accompanied by the Elder Slushette, I boarded a Pearsons Travel coach bound for Bridlington.
Thanks to the generosity of Bridlington Town chairman - and all-round good egg (apart from the fact he's a Hull FC fan) - Pete Smurthwaite, Queensgate has provided a top-class venue for all four showpiece County League Cup finals.

Lock up your sheep...the Casuals are here
 
On 8 May the venue saw AFC Goods Office win the League Senior Cup (Premier Division & Division 1) and Haltemprice Rangers the Harold Robinson Cup (Divisions 4 & 5).  Today - Saturday 22 May - would see the remaining pieces of silverware up for grabs; a high noon meeting of Leven Members Club Reserves and The Barrel Walkington for the League Junior Cup (Divisions 2 & 3) before the Stiffs' date with destiny at 3pm.
Well, that's how it should have panned out.  Only nobody gave a thought to the first final not running to time.  And so as we pulled into Queensgate at 1.48pm and I could see action still taking place on the pitch, my only hope was that some "Fergie time" was being played at the end of a stoppage-ridden encounter.
No such luck.  Our fears were soon confirmed when ERCFL Secretary Roger Smith, bearing the frown of somebody whose best laid plans have just been well and truly scuppered, informed me that this was indeed the first period of extra-time.  And to make matters worse, Leven had only equalised just minutes from the end of the ninety.

 Turned out nice again!
At least the delay allowed time to scan round the ground and take in what was a very encouraging sight...or two.  Not knowing any official figures I'd hazard a guess there were over 200 inside the ground for the Junior Cup Final, the vast majority of who were decked out - quite bizarrely given the weather - in green & white bar scarves with "Walkington FC" rather snazzily embroidered at each end.
Two coachloads had made the trip across to see former Hull City  "star" Leigh Palin's  side attempt to add to their runners-up place in Division 3 and semi-final appearance in the H. E. Dean Cup - not a bad double for a team in its first season.  And although their hopes appeared to be dealt another blow when Leven took the lead with a cracking strike early in extra-time, a tremendous free-kick right on half-time had the by-now familiar "Green Arrrrrmy" chants again ringing round Queensgate.
Not that Roger Smith or the members of Easington Utd Reserves and Viking Raiders were enjoying the prospect of even more time being taken to find a winner!
Some of our party spent the extra time afforded them productively - in the clubhouse bar.  Others waited nervously for their own action to begin. 
No further goals meant the Junior Cup Final went to penalties, during which crowd favourites Walkington played the part of England to the full...by f___ing up big style. 

Leven play the part of the Germans in the penalty shootout
Despite a quicker-than-usual trophy presentation, the Stiffs' own showpiece event was to be delayed by half-an-hour.  This in turn created problems, with the time between the final's scheduled conclusion and the start of the night's Annual Presentation Evening being reduced even further.
Decisions were taken and phone calls made, delaying the night's organised transport to accommodate the changes.  Now let's just hope our own game doesn't go to pens!

This could be Inter at the Bernabeau
There appeared little danger of that early on.  In the opening 20 minutes or so Viking looked in a hurry to administer a third beating of the season, following convincing wins in both Premier Division encounters.
Pagey was forced into a fine stop while the Stiffs appeared slow in coming to terms with the organisational set-up of manager Kevin "Jose" Appleyard.  And their cause wasn't helped when a stray elbow forced Beattie off the field with the umpteenth broken nose of his playing career.
But then came a break of a more positive nature.  Young Jeffery started it from the back, finding wingman Frosty down the right.  He in turn held things up well before teeing-up Beattie's replacement Brownski whose pinpoint cross was met by Jeffery's glancing header; the man who'd started the move ending it in style as the ball arrowed inside the keeper's far post.  1-0 to the underdogs. "Green (& Gold) Arrrmy!"

 Their names about to be written in history, err...
Suddenly league form counted for nothing and by the break we could have been two up while Viking could (should?) have been down to ten; goalkeeper Richardson escaping with a yellow when hauling Frost down on the edge of the box.
Frosty was proving a real thorn in the Raiders' rear, as was his left-wing counterpart Fitzy and these two again helped the Stiffs reassert control early in the second half.
Twice Frost went close to making it 2-0, once Richardson and once a defender denying him.  Then it was the Vikings turn; Pagey being forced into two tip-over saves and great defensive interventions from Jammo and then Fitzy preventing the Goole side from levelling.

  The Fitz & Frost Show
Twenty minutes from time and deciding to take up position behind the Vikings goal following yet another toilet request from my eldest, I suddenly found myself in prime position to see the Stiffs settle matters.
First The Stumo took delivery of Foster's slide rule pass before steering the ball expertly beyond Richardson.  Two minutes later Fozzy kept up his record of scoring great goals at Queensgate courtesy of a thumping 25-yarder into the top corner.  3-0 and a very nice piece of silverware was en route to the Humber Riviera!

 Postman Stumo's first class delivery...
...while Foz has some barmy bald keeper congratulating him

Fittingly Frost and Fitzgerald combined for the fourth before Raiders' misery was completed by a late dismissal.  As their players, management and entourage became more and more abusive towards officialdom, the Ezzie contingent in the "Bus Shelter" behind the dugouts lapped it all up.

Four fcuking nil!
At ten past five Geordie referee Mike Elliott gave the three shrill blasts on his whistle that signalled "Easington United Reserves - ER County League President's Trophy Winners 2009/10".  Well chuffed.


 A well done Yorkshire Pudding
While the Eastenders celebrated, I jumped in with the McNaught brothers for the trip home.  The annual end-of-season bash was due to start in just over two hours' time...

Special thanks to Dom Taylor for some of the above shots 

Saturday 15 May 2010

Spurning the Cup Final

Where were you when Didier sealed Chelsea's first Double? 
The Slushes were at "Spon 'Ole" walking the Point...


The FA Cup has long since lost its attraction to many people.  Indeed, last season when Hull City - with as poor a record in the competition as any team - enjoyed a run to the quarter-finals, manager Phil Brown wasn't once tempted to put out his "first choice" team.  That shows just how low down the pecking order the most famous trophy in domestic football has slipped.
At one time it would have been unheard of for me to leave the front room during Cup Final day, let alone the house.  But as Chelsea and Portsmouth prepared to face each other at Wembley this afternoon, that's just what I did.
The delights of Spurn Point provided a more than adequate alternative.
Here's a pictorial account of our little jaunt, beginning at the car park on the River Humber side and walking around the Point on the beach before coming back to the car park from the North Sea shore (& check out how close those boats get)

...Back where we started
To find out more about the history of Spurn Point and the neighbouring area in this wild and wonderful part of East Yorkshire, check out the Spurn, Kilnsea & Easington Local Studies Group web site or that of Hidden Holderness.  You will find plenty of reasons thereon for wanting to visit the place yourself...just in case these photographs haven't already convinced you.
We rounded our visit off by popping into the Crown & Anchor at nearby Kilnsea, where a delicious pint of Timothy Taylor Landlord was enjoyed outside whilst sat watching more traffic heading up and down the Humber Estuary.
Now, what score was the Cup Final again?

Tuesday 11 May 2010

A week is a long time...

Saturday 1st May - Thoresby CW (away) Won 2-1
Easington Utd Reserves 0 Viking Raiders 3
Easington Utd Casuals 7 Eastrington Village Reserves 1
Monday 3rd May - Dronfield Town (away) Lost 0-1
Tuesday 4 May – Easington Utd Reserves 1 Hedon Rangers Reserves 0
Saturday 8 May – Bentley Colliery (away) Lost 0-3
 
 "The best thing about Bentley? 
Meat 'n' tatie pie for a pound. Lovely."
I type this opening paragraph as Britain ushers in its first Conservative Prime Minister in thirteen years.  David Cameron finally got to enter No.10 Downing Street some five days after his Party had polled most votes at the General Election.  Well they do say that a week is a long time in politics.
It’s a bloody long time in football too.  On May Day Bank Holiday Monday we boarded a minibus bound for north Derbyshire full of hope that a superb run of form was set to take us to a runners-up finish in the CML Premier Division.  Five days later – Saturday just gone – our final placing was actually confirmed as fifth.
This time of the year is frenetic for those of us involved with local football, especially when there’s the added bonus of a run to a cup final.
And so while my thoughts this past week or so have primarily been concerned with the First Team’s attempts at chasing down Parkhouse and Dronfield in the race for second, the Reserves’ H. E. Dean Cup run has provided a welcome distraction.
As posted last time the Stiffs reached the final courtesy of their abandoned game against Highland Laddie.  Their opponents at Bridlington Town’s Queensgate home will be Viking Raiders and by virtue of the ER County League Premier Division fixture list, the Goole side were scheduled to visit Low Farm for a kind of “dress rehearsal” the following weekend.  And I would be there.
By rights of course I should have been with the First Team at Thoresby Colliery Welfare.  However, for the first time this season I was set to miss a CML fixture involving the Eastenders; the reason being that most major of footballers’ bugbears – a wedding!
If I’m honest I quite like a good wedding bash (to be fair, I’m now in the age bracket that renders such invitations a rarity).  The chance to down a few pints before trying to recreate my dancefloor moves to The Specials et al whilst at the same time forgetting that my body is no longer as flexible as it once was, is not to be missed (even if it ALWAYS leaves Mrs Slush less than impressed).  But when such an invitation involves missing my footy, well…
One of the rare times the Casuals didn't score
Thus it was to Low Farm I ventured.  Here, along with the aforementioned raid by the Vikings, the Casuals were wrapping up their Division 5 campaign at home to wooden spoonists Eastrington Village Reserves.  One for the purists this.
Despite the latter concluding things in style, courtesy of a resounding 7-1 win over their visitors, my attention remained almost exclusively with the Reserves.
"Right, so who put the wrong kit out for the Reserves?"
Unfortunately neither my support (nor an unusual kit combination of home shirts with away shorts & socks!) could yield a win.  Kev’s lads slumped to their first defeat in eleven matches, courtesy of a 3-0 scoreline in which all three Viking goals came from glaring defensive errors.  One for the manager to work on there before the 22nd of May!
Not as nice as a wedding marquee - I'll get me coat!
With an hour’s difference in kick-off times the Stiffs were already bound for defeat when I established phone contact with Photgrapher Burt at the Lido Ground, home to Clipstone Welfare and host venue for Thoresby whose Edwinstowe ground had been given over to cricket.
“How we doing?”
“One-nil up, Gavin early on.  Charlie hasn’t touched the ball yet”
“Fost rate.  Keep me posted.”
Twenty minutes in and all was going well.  But just as the final chairs were being put away following the Reserves reverse, my phone rang.
“1-1”
“Bloody hell, is that their first shot?”
“Yep”
 
Get in there!
Now I’ve spent many anxious moments on the touchline during my twenty years involvement with Easington United.  Most of these have come during derby games against Withernsea – rarely enjoyable occasions despite our excellent record in them.  But I’ve got to say the half-hour spent waiting for Burt to update me with news from Nottinghamshire that Saturday afternoon was the most excruciating football experience I’ve had in a long time.
He rang again just before I left the ground.
“2-1. Andy special from thirty yards”
“Get in there!”
Then nothing.  Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty – I couldn’t stand it.
“What’s happening?”
“Well, nothing really”
“What d’you mean “nothing”. Is it still 2-1?”
“Yeah”
“And…”
“Oh, Mozzer just hit the post, free-kick, twenty yards…”
 This week's Spot The Ball competition
I couldn’t take much more of this.  It didn’t help that my background accompaniment to this was Mrs Slush warning me about my conduct at the aforementioned wedding bash we were about to attend and Radio Humberside’s fever-pitched commentary on Grimsby Town’s vital League 2 relegation battle against Barnet.
As the game at Blundell Park went into five minutes injury time I rang Burt for the umpteenth time.  I was greeted by a voice booming out, “Grrrreeeeeennnn  Arrrrrrrrrrrmmmyyy!”  Ah, all was well.
I didn’t find out until much later how tight a struggle the game had actually been and how poor Dave ranked our performance.  No matter; the win meant we were still on course for second.  A win at Dronfield two days later and another at Bentley would guarantee runners-up medals.
AG with that bloke from the Bonanza
At conclusion of the Thoresby match, CML Registrar Rob Hornby – yes, him again – was on hand to present members of our entourage with the trophy won for being voted best host club at the March Bonanza.  A nice touch.
Dronfield Town were formed in 1998, although their programme informs us that football in the town was played “as early as beginning of 1860’s”.  The current club started life as a junior side before the adult section reappeared via the dads of those youngsters deciding it was time to have a go themselves.  After four successful seasons in the Midland Regional Alliance, Town entered the Central Midlands League for the 2009/10 campaign.
Their success has been instant and but for a blip in form in March – losing three and drawing one of five matches – they would surely have challenged Church Warsop for the title.
Banksy's been at Stonelow
As it was the defeat at Low Farm had left the hosts needing to take at least a point off us in the return to ensure they remained in the driving seat for second spot.
In typical Bank Holiday manner, the weather en route to Derbyshire and on arrival at Coal Aston CC’s ground on Stonelow Road (to which Dronfield’s pitch is attached) comprised a mix of all four seasons – sun, wind, rain and hail.
A Bank Holiday and Pete takes Mrs. F. out for the day
There was a mood of quiet optimism among the players as we disembarked from Pistol Pete’s “Riding School Express”.  It was a similar story among the travelling contingent of supporters, which today included Mr & Mrs Farndale for the first time.  As we sat with several groundhoppers in the neat cricket pavilion before kick-off, with Sky Sports News informing us of City’s pursuit of the 19-0 win at Wigan that would take their relegation fight to the final Sunday of the Premier League season, there was a growing conviction that this would be our day…
The feeling was reinforced when a mistake by a nervous town defence allowed Thommo the first whiff of an opening inside the first thirty seconds.
Gradually, though, the hosts found their feet and put us on the back foot; Charlie going full length to keep out one effort while corners provided a constant threat.
Not this time...
 ...Nor this!
But as the half approached its conclusion, we created the better chances.  Thommo (twice) should have down better, Gav somehow failed to convert from close range and Chav fired just wide before Thommo just couldn’t quite get over his header in the final act of the half.
There was plenty to suggest that the second half would provide us with further chances for the winner that would make us favourites to clinch runners-up medals.  And as news filtered through of Mark Cullen’s goal at the DW stadium I was in good spirits as I took my place near the home dugout.
But on 55mins came the moment that shattered our dream.  A right-wing corner, near post flick and a free header for Brett Gibbons that Chav couldn’t quite keep from entering the net would prove the defining moment.
In fairness, we pressed to the bitter end for a point that would have at least taken things to the final game.  And AG, pressed into service as an emergency centre-forward, twice came close to achieving just that.  But it was not to be.
It was therefore a dejected group of players and supporters who retired to the nearby Pioneer Club where, awaiting us – in addition to a fine pint of Old Speckled Hen – was a plate of beef dripping sarnies! Fantastic. Despite feeling my arteries closing up with each mouthful, it was almost enough to make me forget the magnitude of what had just happened out on the field.
We bade our farewells and with the required “offies” on board, our spirits had improved considerably by the time we stopped off at The Country Park Inn overlooking the Humber Bridge.
 "Win or lose we'll have a booze..."
 
The reason for the stop-off was that Pistol Pete had been requested to pick up a young Italian lady from the train station (don’t ask) and she would not be there until some time later than that at which we would have originally hit Hull.  So as I slurped a fine pint of Black Sheep watching the sun set over the muddy old ‘Umber, thoughts already turned to the challenge still awaiting the lads – finish top four!
 Spills & thrills in the SH Cup
Before the lads had chance to pursue this aim, the Stiffs began their South Holderness Cup campaign with a Preliminary Round tie at home to Hedon Rangers Reserves.
And on a fine spring evening they confirmed their passage courtesy of Stu Campbell’s exquisite first half finish.  Granted, Hedon can feel themselves slightly unfortunate, having created the bulk of the chances in a very entertaining affair.    

 Once more into the unknown...
And so to the final game of our debut season in the Central Midlands League, away at Bentley Colliery; it was almost a local derby given the mileage!
Our reasons for wanting to secure fourth (third was a non-starter once Parkhouse had gained the points from Welbeck’s inability to fulfil the fixture – their goal difference being vastly superior to ours) was that the FA’s lack of response on the North/South proposals for 2010/11 had set many people thinking that the current set-up would remain.  If so a top four place might just prove enough to get us up (given rumours of Forest Town’s defection at the season’s end and Louth Town’s promotion to the East Midlands).
Hosts Bentley Colliery were founded in 1926 and for a time played in their own Bentley League competition.  They progressed to the Doncaster & District League during the 1950s until 1965 when the football section was closed down by the Welfare.
Re-emerging to play Sunday football in 1976, four years later the club rejoined Saturday competition courtesy of a return to the Doncaster League.  After considerable success, Bentley were elected to the Central Midlands League in 2001, clinching promotion to the Supreme Division five years later.  They lasted therein one season before being relegated due to having no lights.  
Creekit
Lack of lights was the least of the home club’s worries on our arrival.  According to Secretary Pete Tooth’s programme notes, the Club were likely to lose the use of their portacabin changing rooms following “problems” with owners Wyckham Estates.  This would result in them having to revert to shared use of the cricket facilities across the road – hardly an ideal scenario.  
A pre-match Dressing Room is a hive of activity
Having set the kit out I took advantage of the locals’ hot food facility; a tasty meat & potato pie setting me back just a quid.  I also passed a few moments with some groundhoppers from Scarborough, one of who announced his intention to visit Low Farm for the forthcoming South Holderness Cup Final.  
 Dooley & Pistol Pete discuss the feasibility of moving this Stand to Low Farm
Like Dronfield’s Stonelow home, The Avenue is tidy enough affair.  Neatly railed off on all four sides, it has the now familiar basic main stand along one side.  However, conversation with one of the locals informed me that this was a “new” stand which had replaced the original.  This perhaps explains why it stands a fair distance back from the touchline.  
 All they need is a paper bag and some liquor
 F-Troop arrive
Hard standing was present down just one side and this is where another sizeable travelling contingent took up position in tim to see the hosts carry out their “crack an egg” pre-match routine.
Whether this was a one-off to mark the end of the season or a regular jape I’m not sure (it’s an awful waste of eggs!) but they could afford to be in good spirits.  Bentley came into the game on the back of four straight wins, the most recent a 4-1 drubbing of newly-crowned champions Church Warsop.  They had every right to feel they would make it five this particular afternoon.  
 There's a clue as to the best place for those boots Gav
To be honest I’ve already tried to erase most of the ninety minutes from memory.  In particular I don’t wish to be reminded about the first half, which saw the hosts open up a match-winning three-goal lead.  And although the second period saw a marked improvement, it was never likely to yield the point that would have salvaged fourth.  
 Taking a tumble on the pitch...
...but still standing after it
Post-match hospitality was provided in The Jet, which adjoins the cricket ground (and is presumably the source of the “Jet Men” nickname on the programme).  No cask ale but a tasty enough cold buffet and spirits were further lifted by the free crates supplied by Dooley Cousins as an end of season present.
Yorkshire Main’s win confirmed our slip from second to fifth.  No matter; the beer was now doing its thing.  Having enjoyed our Monday sojourn at The Country Park, we again chose it as a stop-off and followed this up with one at The Crooked Billet (where bridges required building after misdemeanours on the recent “Bevy Bus” night).  A fine pint of Jennings Tom Fool helped lighten the mood further.  
 The fans favourite get's a last match love-in!
I arrived home some nine hours after setting off to Bentley and some nine months after boarding the “Riding School Express” for the first time, bound for Parkhouse on that gorgeous summer day back in August.  In the words of Phil Brown: this really has been “the best trip I’ve ever been on”!  Thanks again to Burt G for the photography